My name is LISA

My Beloved Mother Named Me,Nur Khalisa Bte Kharil Anwar I dropped from heaven on the 27th of October 1992 I love poetry, art, starbucks, photography, sushi , pasta OLIVER SYKES. (haha) and Oreo.. I hardcore dancing in the living to CHIODOS A girl who is addicted to laughing and Mr Bean soyabean ouh yahh and orange juice. hehe(:, MYLungs ♥ SHAIFUL!

Taggyy.

Links and Credits.

Dada!♥
Naddie♥
Use-Aida♥
Dress Soul♥
Qushy Pantat♥
Sewie♥
Fiza♥
Ellyana♥
Shidah♥
Qissy♥
Amalina♥
Dyra♥
Sasha♥
Hamka♥
Alfian♥
Israq♥
Fandi♥
Amy!♥
Aidil Alfian♥
Amin♥
Steven♥
Aidil Azmi♥
F♥
Photography Club(Bishan)♥
Archives:
June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009 { 7:54 AM }

Labels: Happy Happy(:

Thursday, October 29, 2009 { 6:44 PM }

Heyyyyylllooooo.
bored. Yes. Im in school. Doing some office work. im done , so i blog. haha
Its been awhile. Malas nak blog. haha. I have nothing to say.

Shitts.

Finnish lesson. Asshole. I just started. -__-
Nevermind. I'll blog some other day when i want to.
Ishhh. I dont even know when.

Okeyyy. my friends are leaving me.
Ass.
HAHAHHAHA!

EHK WAIT!

Okey Bye.

Labels: Random(:

Friday, October 23, 2009 { 9:21 AM }



Plaster my heart. Wait. Shoot it and stabbed it. Then plaster it.
Fuck.

Well, Ive been at home. THE WHOLE DAY. The same. No difference. I watched this movie, Radit And Jani. I find it sweet. Yet Sad. Sweet because the Jani loved Radit so much until she doesnt care what anybody thinks about her husband.

Sad because Radit took drugs and he really let Jani down and mostly thier love collapse. But in thier hearts. They still love each other.

But i also think that its stupid. Yes Love, You have to love that someone. But what about the future?. You have to think about it also. Love cant put out food on the table. So as furniture and stuffs. Im talking like a makcik. What??. Its a lesson. A lesson i have to remember. Choose the right path. Thats it. I have to choose. Ishh.

I never want to fall in love again. Its stupid. I think too much and i cry alot. Come on! TIRED !!

Nevermind that, I want to go Night Safari can?
I wanna go on my birthday. But its on weekends. Shitss.
Celebrate ir on Sat or Sun with my loved oness. hehehe. Cant wait!.
I wanna persuade my mother to give me more kaching! I wanna go shopping!
I wanna buy that panda t-shirt. So cutee. hehe. And a bag. A GIRL bag.

Wheee~

Okeyyy, now i wanna be serious.
Im sick and tired of him bugging me.
Why must he wait for me?
Tak payah la.
I wont change my fucking mind.
He made a mistake and now my future is gone.
And now he wants me to be with him.
Come on!.
No way. Im not in a bad mood. This is fucking me.
WTF HUH?
That 2 people da lovey dovey. Sakit mate tao tak.
She stole my love. Karma.
Pain in the arse. Stop it. I hate you
Fuck off.
I shouldnt have gone in that fucking house.
Yes im dumb. Stupid. Yes i am.

I wanna be alone!. Tell that to your friend if you're reading this. You should know who you are.
Asshole.


All mistakes can be marked by borders.
All of love can be traced to a maker.
It's seems as if what is most important,
Isn't noticed when forgotten


Listen, if you ever come back in my life. I swear.
I'll slap you. I never slap anyone in my life.
You better dont be first.

Labels: ass.

Thursday, October 22, 2009 { 8:59 AM }

Im been staying at my grandparents house. Been really really sick. High fever pluss this fucking sore eyes. I cant even open my sepet eyes. Both got infected until now. Still sore. 1 week of holiday. I think my eyes gonna heel next 2 weeks. No soon.

Once im sick. Im sick forever.

So i guess im celebrating my birthday sleeping at home. My parents? Busy working. My grandparents? My grandma is gonna cook for me my favourite food. Pasta baby!!. And my grandpa is dead on bed. I really feel like putting rat-poison or any poison thats poisonly and put on his drink or on to him. Arghh. Pressure. :(

i just got home today. My mother let me home. I cant really go anywhere far. Because i will get dizzy and i cant see well. Luckily my house is near. Well, my father wasnt happy. He didnt want me home. Its not that he hates me or anything. He wasnt me to stay at my grandmas house so i have her to take care of me. If im home. I have nobody. Its just me alone at home. My father dont let me go my own house. What is that suppose to mean?. Im tired. Going back and forth. And its not just now, Its been ever. He doesnt want me home. I have my own house. My own room. My own space. I wanna sleep on it sometimes. I do love my grandma. No doubts. She took care of me since birth. Not my parents. I feel adopted.

I feel that i have nobody. Nobody like family. I have friends. Thats all i have. As you can tell. Im lonely. And i like it that way.

I really like it. Home alone.I like to be alone. Me myself and i. Its like i have my own things to do. I can walk naked at home. HAHAHA. Okeyy. No wayyyy. haha XD. I can watch tv and nobody will steal the remote. I can open my awesome favourite bands LOUD LOUD and nobody complains. And i have nobody yelling on my ear. I like being alone. Totally.

I know im stubborn, spoilt, irritating and all.
But i am still, Im the same. I can never change the way i am.
Im still Lisa. Or Cha Cha or Khal.

Im still here. Still me. You never see it. Because you only see my outside. Not inside. Judge the book by its cover. Thats what you're doing. I care. And now i dont.

I start not to care. Any other peoples feelings. I start to get frustrated easily and start to stop believing.

Four words i hate:
1. Sacrifice
2. Care
3. Love
4. Promise

This words i can never believe anymore. This is all fake. You're thinking that im not gonna love any man anymore. Ishh. Im gonna love a man soon. But not now. Ive been heartbroken enough. And now i wanna be alone. Stop bugging me. Ishhh. You see! I have problems!. People have probelms. Not only you. Ishhh. Stop asking me to listen to your girl problems if you dont wann listen to mine. Stupid Ein.

Í dream everyday. Dream something which can never happen. Now is reality. Touch me im real. But you never realise it.

Labels: Be Strong Lisa

Sunday, October 18, 2009 { 8:36 AM }

Okeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Im sick. Having really bad fever and a very very very sore eye. Not getting better. Awesome!!. Whee~ I got fever because i went to sentosa yesterday. Celebrating shafiq's, aidil and my birthday. haha. I really had fun. Kene sabo. Fuck. I got splat on the face with chocolate fudge cake. But shitts. I didnt take a photo. Darn it. I would look damn funny. hehehee. I look stupid. But it was awesomeeeeeee!. hahahaha. I did a flip and BUSSHHHH in the water. I nearly drown. luckily Shafiq pulled me up. And i did a back flip tak menjadi. haha. Best of timessss (:

PHOTOS!!!



Lisa and Juppy



Boncet me!



Lisa and Shafiq



Lisa and Aidil







Theres more pictures. Obscene ones. haha. Cant show it!. Its really buruk. haha.

Bangla a lot yesterday. I can see the ocean turning black. I pointed a middle finger at a bangla. Asshole. haha. Okeyy. Im off to bed. My eyes is burning.

Nights !!!!!

Labels: Awesome(:

Thursday, October 15, 2009 { 8:15 AM }

My eyes are swollen and sore. I woke up in the morning like this. Ishh. Cant my life get any worst? I ate alot. I have stomach flu. I shit more then 5 times a day. I dont think is normal. Had my first day period today. Stressed out. I failed one of my subjects. My mp3 and phone is dying soon. I think im celebrating my birthday alone. I fucking cry every night. Nobody cares about me. Im alone!

I went to the doctors alone. haha. I wore shades. Wth. ahha. I got an infection on my left eye. The doctor says i cant touch my eye. *Touch touch touch. haha. Let me be blind. Its better. Im already blind. I cant see the real world. I cant see the person whom i destined to be with. Well i guess its not the right time. Obviously. haha. Missing someone. Pffftts.

Like you care. Asshole. Yes you. Fucktard. I hate you. Go and suck balls. Like i care. Dumbass. Pffftts.

Pinch me. Im one-eyed. Who gives a fuck? No one.

Labels: ass.

Monday, October 12, 2009 { 10:21 AM }

Im down. Im on the floor with my blanket. Cold. Shivering. Crying. This is the end. I dont want this to end but. ..... Im sorry...(crying). Why? agh. I cant just forget you like that. Agh. I feel theres no hope. Evrey night. I think. The way i treated you. I really do care. I care so much. I wont cry for you every night. I feel hurt. It hurts so much. It ended this way. I didnt want this to happen. Agh. I cant stop crying. Why? Because i love you deeply. I love you deeply.Im sorry. Im really am. ....... You promised. That thing. Its a mistake. Im breaking down. I dont wanna leave you alone.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?
I SAID
seriously lisa
get out of my life
kalau tk paham kan
lagi baik tkya bobal teros

I cant help but seeing this. I drop a tear. Then tears. Then my heart aches. Then i start to cry more. Why? I guess my feelings are too deep. You mean so much to me. I guess you never even realised it. Agh.

I will get out of your life. I deleted you in msn,facebok and tagged. And so as your number. I know that you wont text or call me anymore so mind as well just delete you off. Thats what you wanted. You want me to get out of your life.

Your smell,
Your kisses,
Your huggs,
And our lame chats.

I wont forget.

First meet up.
I can never forget that smile. When you kissed my hand. (crying)

Harbourfront.
Feelings grew more. I can never forget that moment we had together.

Anberlin.
One of my greatest moments of my entire life.

Sengkang.
I couldnt bare to leave you. One eyed. I cried before i go off. You wiped my tears. You kissed my forehead and that made me really .... words cant really describe how i feel. Agh. I hold your hand. I feed you. You liked Lady Gaga more then me. (: It was a awesome day. Smelling you. I miss that. Alot.

I dont know whats next.
But what i know, you wont be there for me anymore.

Will you still miss me?
Will you still love me?

I guess theres no answer to it.

Labels: Lost

Saturday, October 10, 2009 { 8:54 AM }

Well, i slept at 6am and woke up at 8am. Wake up early to go to Johor for raya. Visit my aunt and open house. Im tired. But i cant sleep. Coffee doesnt help somehow. Maybe a call from someone. Someone i really need to talk to now. Call me you. I wanna talk about some stuffs. To settle it out. M.I.A is stupid. Yes i know. Im stupid. Yes i know. Haiss. Okeyy!. Now lets talk about my lame trip.

I woke up not feeling that sleepy. When i reach woodlands with my mother to meet her friend, Aunty June with her car. We went off to Johor. As usual, stick that earpiece on my ear and doze off. Haha. My mom woke me up when we reach custom. To let them see my gorgeous face. Check passport lerr. haha. My face steam steam then i guess the guy steam also. Ermmm. okeyyyy... hahahaha! I slept the whole journey. I cant be bothered to look outside the window and see the world. Its nothing to me now. I dont feel happy. Im just pretending. (:

Reached my aunty's house at ermm.. Skudai. I think. haha. Erm.. nevermind. Reached and chilled. Watched teebee and chatted with her anak. Shes 6 years old and she talks alot. I mean shes speaking malay, and im dumb at it. Half of the convo i was asking my aunty was she meant. haha. Maizurah (the kid) said berlagak. I was like, ermm.. ape tu Aunty June? She say action la gitu. Then i was like OH. haha. Okeyyy. Nevermind that. I ate like a pig today. I ate alot. Like damn alot. WOW. haha. I have a fat tummy and i dont fucking care!. HAHAHAHA XD Your pasal la if you dont like me. HMPH!. haha. Berlagak seyy lisa. TEEHEEE(:



Just woke up. Then take picture. Random la deyy!.



???????????????

Then went to the open house. Finding the place ah! Fuyohh! Very pening. haha. Aunty June drove around the lorong to find the house. We were rounding at Belimis where we suppose to find Undan. Haha. Well we found the house in the end. ishh. It took 30 minutes. I checked. haha. When we reached, the first thing i saw was the food. OMG!. SATAY LA SEYYYYY!. SEDAPPP(: I ate like i never eat for 3 days. HAHA! So niceee la. hehehe. I ate rice with rendang,sambal goreng,mee hoon goreng and some sayur i dont know. And alottt of satayy!. haha. FAT FAT FAT. Hehehe.

Then after that, we went to Angsana. I didnt shop. Im already broke. ishhh. All my money gone!. hehe Well, on the way to Angsana i saw this sign. HAHAHAHA



It says Dato Muthuthambi. haha. Okeyy. I find it funny. Suits you. If you dont find it funny then fine argh. haha. Well, we reached and saw alot of mat malaysia. Tak attactive seyy. haha. Tapi i saw this apek hot. HAHA XD. jUST KIDDNG. hehe. The most amazing part was. I saw a few dozen of DUCKS! so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(:



I LOVE DUCKS(:



This is you. Whoever is reading my blog. haha.

Tired walking around. Then we chilled and eat. haha. Coffee!. So nice(: haha. Im addicted to coffee, shut up. haha. Then after that we head home. I slept in the car again. Like seriuosly, coffee doesnt help. Or is it me? haha. Im weird. I just cant ride on a car or bus or train or anything which has wheels. Im gonna sleep on it. haha. But i wont sleep when im on a bike. Im gonna scream instead. haha!. Hate motorcycles. teehee.

Today was fun.
Im sorry you.
I think about you.
I care for you. Dont you see it?
Im just..hais..
I cant say it.

Patience.

Labels: Loneliness and Happiness(:

Friday, October 9, 2009 { 9:07 AM }

Im thinking. M.I.A-ing. Yes. Im doing it. Im m.i.a-ing to all the guys i date. The only person im with now is my beloved adam. Hes been there for me everyday. Every night he will be there, on the phone with me. He doesnt realise it. But it meant alot to me. I share my problems to him and he will be there annoy me -___-. Well, it makes me feel better. I do not know why. haha. By seeing him smile and making me laugh. Its really something that i cant describe. Its like old times. But yeah. We are friends (: ermm.. heh!

Things have been wierd and scary. Im avoiding it. Im terribly scared. Like i can feel your presences. Ishh. Im still thinking about that day. OMG. What i've been through. Its just unforgetable. Im sorry. You're just not my type. Its just too wrong. Between him and me and her and you and now. Its just too much. Okeyy, i dont think you guys understand that part. haha!. Nevermind. TEEHEE!.

Since you never called or texted me. I guess that you moved on with her. (:
You were never there for me when i need you.
Empty promises yeah (:
I dont take that promise in mind. I heard you. And now you're gone without a trace. Im gone in your life. Since im just a girl who had feelings for you and you pushed me away. And ask me not to wait for you. Then fine. I wont (:
Leave me and forget me.


Crush me like a paper and throw me away.

Done (:

Labels: Be Strong Lisa

Tuesday, October 6, 2009 { 7:14 AM }

As you can see, new blog skin?. Can see my blog?. I had a lot of complains. So to shut it, i changed skin. Thanks to my beloved Sewiee (: I dont know how to change skin. So i asked her. Thanksss!. Okeyy,i know i kental -__- nevermind.

I never go out today. Cancel my plans(: I dont wanna make the same mistake again. So its better off i get out of it and stay at home and be a good girl and multi-task. Haha. I will be on Facebook,Tagged,Purevolume,Youtube,Blogger,msn. And i will be texting,on the phone and eating. Ishhh. My routine. If im at grandmama's house,i will be watching tv,texting and on the phone. Busy? I dont find it busy. It s a everyday thing. haha. Okeyy. Bored ~

I wanna ask you a question.
Am i fat?
This sucks.
I grew 2 kg heavier. I feel that im fat. haha. But i dont really care if im fat. Fuck it. You wanna find skinny girls? GO LA. Lady Gaga better then me per. She hotter then me. Well obviously. And shes tall and have big boobs and she sing a song called paparazzi. Haha. I sing a song called stalker. Okeyy whatever. Ishh. Nak Lady Gaga je. I want William Beckett la. Oliver sykes da over. So i want William Beckett now. See if i can find one. haha. Fat hopess. Alaaaa!. Fat. Im fat. :( Whatever la. Love me for who i am. You want Lady Gaga, go la. BLUEKKKKK!

Asswipe!. I need to go to school tomorrow. Hais, I failed one of my subjects and tomorrow my teacher is going to do revision with me and my other friends who failed to. ASS La. Im looking forward to go to school nex week not tomorrow! Ishhhhh. Sucks :(

You know, every night. I cry.
Dont ask why. I dont even know the bloody answer. Im weird. I think i think too much. I guess.

Well, i miss someone. I wish i could take care of him. So sad and worried. Haiss. Nevermind. I pray for him till he gets better (:

Miss you so much! ♥♥♥♥

Saturday, October 3, 2009 { 10:08 AM }

I wanna start a new. Feel new breeze. Start a fresh. My previous post?. Fuck it. Its over. Im pretending that all that is just a story. Its stupid to think about that fucking thing. Im starting new. Im pushing all those problems aside and stick to the future.

Im contacting with my 2nd ex now. Been talking to him all the time. I want to stick to him. I mean only him. He knows me well then other guys. He was my true love. My first love. He teached me how to kiss. HAHA XD. He meant the world to me. Eventhough he left me in the first place,I still take it as a break. Like summer break. haha. Im starting a fresh. Im not dating any other guys. Im sticking with my ex. haha. If new guys pun,they are just my friends. No other feelings. No hugs or kisses. just a hand-shake will do. Yes!, i was a slut. I feel that way. But im not anymore.(:

Im not paranoid or insecure anymore. I dont care what you think about me. But still, Im a soft hearted and caring person. Even if you're a stranger or i just know you for 5 secs, I still care for you. Im not a revenge type of person. Im a karma will strike back kinda person. OMG. I dont think i made sense. haha. nvrm. I dont get angry easily, i dont beat you up or scold you. I talk and laugh. Thats me. If you think that im a slut or weird, thats your fucking problem. I really dont feel like entertaining these nonsense.

My 4th ex asked me, whats my requirements for a boyfriend? (asshole la he)

1. Hot skinny legs. (i know im weird)
2. Same interest in music, example: hardcore,electrocore bands. (a must)
3. Caring,softhearted and reasonable.
4. Has time for me.
5. Makes me laugh eventhough he made lame jokes,i will still laugh and make him annoyed. haha! -__-
6. And mostly, Love me for who i am and be there for me no matter what.

I just asked for 6 requirements. Not more. haha. But application forms or not available..so too bad. Wait till im ready. haha.

Okeyy, done with that.

I still feel guilty inside. For the guys i've hurt. Im sorry. Im really am. 2nd chance? I wont give that, but i'll be your friend till the end(:


Since im gone in your life. I feel better. This should be forever (:

Labels: A Fresh Start.