My Beloved Mother Named Me,Nur Khalisa Bte Kharil Anwar
I dropped from heaven on the 27th of October 1992
I love poetry, art, starbucks, photography, sushi , pasta
OLIVER SYKES. (haha) and Oreo..
I hardcore dancing in the living to CHIODOS
A girl who is addicted to laughing and Mr Bean soyabean ouh yahh
and orange juice. hehe(:,
Complications. I hate it. Two faced? I hate those people. This made me confuse. Why cant she be straight forward? I want things to be better. Like the day we first met. When we laid eyes on each other. When you kissed my hand and when you smiled at me. Those i will never forget. I was a paranoid and a insecure bitch. But i was like that for a reason that. I liked you alot. I never wanted you to leave me. But when i decided to leave you because you hated my attitude,you left me. It was a mistake to say that to you. I should change but instead i followed my emotions too much. But you agreed to leave me. But why when you were with her, you never end things? Instead you stayed and be patient with her. I wonder why..The reason i was with wan was because i wanted to forget you. It hurts to see you and her. I waited. But i found out that you were attached. Now you're not and you wont give me a chance. I never treated you as a rebound. After i found out about wan. I realised that i dated a jerk. A liar. An asshole and a mistake. I cant be happy like things. I cant tell you all this straight forward. I will end up breaking down,crying. I will never stop. My feelings towards you are deep. I never forget you. I never erased you in my mind or heart. I do blame myself for leaving you in the first place. It was a mistake. I know you want us to be friends. But i want more than that. This will take time. Im not rushing. I just want you to give me a chance. Thats all i ask for. Even if you're with other girls or some other girl likes you,i dont care. I wont leave. I'll be waiting. Thats my word.
Our song. I remembered, we sang this song on the phone. Great memories i will never forget.
The End Lyrics
The first time we met Your face became etched In my mind
You were the sun I was the one Who worshiped you. My hands were your guns Your eyes were my muse.
And I knew you could never love me I had so much sorrow inside You could never reach But can I still keep A place in your heart?
You broke my heart You promised me the moon and stars I fell for your dreams. I fell for your lies There was no other way You know I tried
And I knew you could never love me I had so much sorrow inside You could never reach But can I still keep A place in your heart?
There is something I want you to know I think you know exactly what it is I didn't want to save you I didn't want to save you I set our house on fire To watch it burn But I couldn't just leave you there
And I knew you could never love me I had so much sorrow inside You could never reach But I'll ask you this
Will you still miss me? __________________ Do you love me? __________________
Planes fill the sky We'll both die tonight We'll both die tonight Hands from the sky Swat us away like flies As we follow the light
Planes fill the sky We'll both die tonight We'll both die tonight Hands from the sky Swat us away like flies As we follow the light
We'll both die tonight We'll both die tonight
Swat us away like flies (We'll both die tonight) As we follow the light (As we follow the light)
This union, a battle fought and lost This union was not about the cause This union was never about love
Did you see those blanks? I would want a miracle to happen. If you say those words. I will cry in happiness as i feel that you are there for me. And i will feel loved by a person whom i love so much. Anberlin was something. I would want that to happen again. If you let me in again.
hahahaha. I wanna tell you something. About this band. So cute. This band reminds me of Power Rangers. I do not Know Why. I think its because of their band name, Family Force 5. haha. Cute kan. This band has been around since 2007. Their New album is up. Go check it out if you like them. I just find them interesting. The way they are. And thier music are awesome. I find them cool. haha.
Heres a song i like.
This is their song from thier new album.
Like power ranger kan?. hahahaha. okeyy im wierd.
Well, this week boring la. Damn bored.Go raya with my parents. Its boring. Damn bored. Like the world is getting boring. Like damn boring. I wanna be alone and sit at the side and sob. Okeyy. i sound emo. fuck. Im not. Ishh. Hate emo. I dont feel like its a concept. Emo is like the most eeeww of the concept of cutting yourslef and feeling stupid. haha. okeyy thats lame. But come on!. emo is soo last 2 years. I think. I hear emotional somgs, jiwang argh babe!. haha. i hear those songs for emergency. You know those sad moments and you feel like crying. haha. Yeah. Those moments. I hear jiwang songs. haha. Im universal. I hear all types. I hear dangdut you know. haha. Shiok la babe. haha. So those lame and hipper moments. Okeyy... Im being damn weird.
blah blah blah..
I cut my hair!. haha. i wanted to surprice my friends. But i guess they know now. I dont know. haha. Sunny is the first person to see my hair. He say it looks nice. Alaaa. He everything nice la. Ape tak nice? i dont know. hahaha.
Im getting fat. I get that alot. From everyone. Especially that asshole. So irritating. But i know myself la. I am getting fat. I cant even fit a size 36.. -___- OMG la. I went shopping with my mother. Wanna try this nice skirt. Then i cant fit in it. WTH!. So sad. Last piece.Ishh..70% sale. Of course la no more stock. haiss... I need to shop!!. Next week la.
Its not my fault i like to spend too much. I just like to waste my money. haha. I wanna buy..
skirt
baggy pants
skate shoe
Girl bag
high heels
and something for sunny(:
haha. Thats all. Its not that much. 6 things je. hehehe.
Okeyy la. Its like 4:41am
I cant sleep. So i blog crap stuffs which doesnt even make any sense. Fucktard (:
This is in my fucking mind. People who talk bad about people behind thier backs.
I hate it all. Like come on la. What the fuck did he ever do to you. He did something that you dont like? you envy him? he has an attitude? he said cb to you then you not happy?
wtf?
If you have a problem. Say it infront ah. Why? scared? Fuck you argh scared!. You not happy? Come here talk to me. Tell me what you say about him. I'll be reasonable to you. Because of you fucktards hes leaving me. Happy argh now? You guys what me to leave him so much. HAPPY? Im not happy. Not fucking happy at all. From here i see, i see cowards and assholes. You guys are bloody idiots. Wanna spam my blog? I make a new one. Fucker.
How do you feel if people talk bad behind your backs and never tell about what they say about you? do you feel mad? you getting what i say or not? Understand my english? Or my english sucks? You feel mad right? precisely la. im stupid to answer my own question but its true. You're gotta be angry. If not, then i think you have no feelings. Seriously. I feel so angry inside. How could you say such stuffs about him? Tell me what you're not happy about. Then i know. If you never tell either me or him..we are gonna fall apart. I dont want that to happen. I love him alot and say whatever you wanna say, i wont leave him. I know him well enough,eventhough its only nearly a month. I trust him and hes trying to trust me. I dont want this relationship to end. I wanna be happy. You dont want me to be happy? If you dont even know me. At least make a human happy. Tell me what you say about him. I wanna know. I wanna know the truth. You're making our relationship tumbling down. Going down slowly but heart-breaking. Like seriously. Dont do this. Its evil, cruel. Im begging you. HEI!! Listening or not?! Im begging mother fucker. Im begging you to tell me and leave him alone. Get it? sheeeessshhh.
Dont think you say like that, you think you're so highy. Like big fuck argh. its dumb okeyy. I hate people like that. Think highly of yourself. We have different paths to walk to. Everyone is different. You say hes like that and that and that and all. What do you think about yourself?. Do you think you're all that good? Im not saying you're ugly or down right dumb. Im saying are you better or good enough in everyones eyes? People stare at you. People stare at everyone they see. Ade mate,tengok la. Its Singapore. Singapore is a kiasu and talked about people backs place. They confirm talk about you,doesnt mean you gotta spread it right? Im right. I know.
I dont want you people to make this worst. To the people who say bad about him. If tak then jangan terase la. I really what me and him to be happy. Theres always a problem after another. I want this to end. Please. Dont do this. Care for the people around you. Eventhough you dont fucking know that human, you should be concern. Be concern about peoples feelings. They are people, not aliens. So yeah.
I have been wondering for this past days. Wait. Months. I never change. Im still the same Lisa. The one who falls in love easily and made wrong decisions. I wanna make it right. Why cant you help me? . I just lost my chance in you. And now you have something to think about. Well, thats your choice. I tried my best. I did show my love towards you, sincerly. Theres so many things you dont know about me. You never ask. The only thing you do is make me sad and mad. I know you dont wanna hurt me. But why? why you do this to me? I did wrong. Im sorry. I never mean to. Your not being reasonable. Being jealous for the wrong reasons. I wanna make this happen. You gotta trust me. Im sorry okey. So sorry. If you ever think that im using you and making that you are nothing to me, thats stupid. Im not. I love you for who you are. I dont wanna make this difficult. You wanna leave me so much?. Well, i guess i wont let you do that. You can call me spoilt, irritating, stubborn and wadever. I wont let you leave me. I pushed all my past behind. For you. What?? I know im stupid. Stupid kan to fall in love like this. You say that im nothing. I 've been through heart aches and bad hair days and mostly crying at night. All because of the way you treat me. Cruel? I may say that. Curse me, call me names, say bad stuffs. Say all you want. I dont care. The way you said I Love You. It still lingers in my mind. You rarely say that to me. I Love You. I dont even know if you meean it. You say it does. But you wanna leave me. Why? I did a mistake. Im sorry. What else am i going to say? Say your last decision. I wanna know truely, if you say.... i wont regret loving you .....
Secondly
I never wanted you to talk to me. Why must you say such things?Why cant i go out with him. His human. Not shamefull. I thought you were a friend. Not even telling me the right thing. I hear lies and bad talking around me. Why? Why must you all do this to me?. Did i do wrong? Stop it. I dont wanna hear all this crap. I wanna be happy. Happy!!!!!
Thirdly
If ever this things happens in future again.
I could die standing. I will never come back and love someone else, I lost him. Im a loser for not realizing. And you're a loser for not telling. 1 second of a magical moment gone.
I dont wanna love someone else other then you. Remember that sunny.
I feel this year raye sucks. I dont feel meriah. haha. I dont feel the love or anything. Its so boring. Really dont feel like celebrating. I feel like slacking at home. More fun. Eat,sleep,watch tv. Or i go out with my ass boyfriend better. hahaha. (: If i go my cousins house,i will be smiling widely and eat thier food and wait for my ka-chingg!!!. hehehe. im aiming for more money. haha. Tak tao malu la me. I wanna buy new phone and something for my boyfriend. haha. If he read this than too bad la. No surprise. haha. I wanna buy new bag. I lost my beg. I know its somewhere in my room. But my room terlalu messy. Cannot find. haha. Mind as weel, buy new one la. hehehe. Must go shopping soon(:
3 weeks of holiday.
What am i gonna do?
Slack and go out. haha.
Go out with you of course sunny. -__-
hahahaha.
Work?
No way... wait till im forced to and when i really need it. Hate working. sucks you know. pfts
Im getting fatter. Like seriously, puase pun tak gune. haha. But i feel abit lighter. But alaaa. Abit je. Like no difference. haha. I eat alot. So yeahh. teeehee(:
This is the most boring post ever. I wanna post but i cant think of anything fun to say.
OUH YAH.
Celebrated Sunny's bdae yesterday. We had fun taking pictures and stuffs. He haven't send me yet. When i get it i post yeahhss. haha. Btw, i feel G-Force is a boring movie. ahaha. But they are cute la. But i find it boring. Wanted to watch I Love You Beth Cooper. But too late. haha. So cannot la. Hais. Nevermind. There will be other days. Other fun movies. haha.
Awesome day today. Had a blast in class. Slack around. haha. Takde keje. haha. Took funny pictures. hehehe. My idoitic face. Qushy nye pasal la. Her i-touch made my face look like an alien. Sape entah ajar. Syafiee la tu. Bought her i-touch for her. haha. But its damn funny la. My muke mintak kene sepak. hahahaha.
The Look of a living alien.. Beware. hahahaha
Today was an awesome day with my sayang today. Went to Khatib. At the BottleTree Park. Very hottt!. haha. Like burning hot. haha. Lisaisonfire meets Sunny. Mesti la. haha. Merepek. haha. He drew a picture. Some dude. haha. Okeyy la. He draw nicer then me. I suck abit. hehehe. Abit ajer.. not that much. haha. We slacked there and laughed our ass offs. I cannot hear him laugh. So funnyyy XD . HAHA!!. If you get to hear that you shouold know how i feel. Asshole la he. hehe. Seeing the sunset. Really nice. Got to hug him. Really Love him alot. He sould know that. If tak mintak kene debik from me la. cb. hahaha.
Im saying the truth. If ever a lie. What will i get? Trust. Trust is something you have to have in a relationship. If you really think i would ever leave you then you are wrong. I dont care how you look like. Like seriously, even if you have one eye or even botak. I wont run away. I love you for who you are. Dont be like this to me. Crying is hard. It hurts. I know you hurt me a billion times. But im patient. Im totally patient with you. Please dear, dont be like this. I love you. Im leaving my other past days just to be with you. Im here for you. I will take care of myself. I will listen to you. And i will not dissapoint you.
Love, if I weep it will not matter,
And if you laugh I shall not care;
Foolish am I to think about it,
But it is good to feel you there.
Love, in my sleep I dreamed of waking,
White and awful the moonlight reached
Over the floor, and somewhere, somewhere
There was a shutter loose- it screeched!
Swung in the wind- and no wind blowing-
I was afraid and turned to you,
Put out my hand to you for comfort-
And you were gone! Cold as the dew,
Under my hand the moonlight lay!
Love, if you laugh I shall not care,
But if I weep it will not matter-
Ah, it is good to feel you there.
Okeyy.. Today was my test. My B.E.G test. The real one. hahaha. I look more casual. Not really like a sex teacher like before. ishhh. haha.
do i look like one? haha. you be the judge.
Here are more pictures. More picturesssss!!!!!!
*looks up* the one on your right our boss. haha. macam paham!
haha. fheeeewww!
banyak pe. okeyy. My exams starting. So i dont know why. Im too lazy to study. But i have to. Forcing myself to. hehe. Seriously, today was damn fun. haha. Dressing up. Taking random pictures. And acheing feet. I have bad blisters on my foot. Plasters all over. Im using my G.I Joe plaster. haha. Shessh. Stupid shoes. Tak gigit kasut. I dont think it makes sense la. haha. okeyy.
Im blank.
Chatting with someone. hehe
Having fun.
Till the next post la.
Nak chat chat. hehe
I watched this movie about this sad girl named Tess. Its bascially about this girl's life living in sorrows. Its really sad. I cried. The movie is called Tess Of The D'Urbervilles. Awesome movie. Its Literature acually. I was in love with literature when i was in secondary school. I dont think anyone knows that except for my bestfriend Dada(: I did pass my Lit exam for my N'Levels. haha. I got 5. Its pathetic but the exam was damn difficult la. I tried my best. In my secondary school life,the library was my hang out place. I would be in the Friction Section finding poetry books. I love to read them. Its really fasinating and interesting. The way the poets say out those words and their feelings. How they felt. I made some poetry, Romantic Poetry. It warms my heart. But somehow i feel sad. Thinking about the past. hais. Its enough alright. No more(:
Well enough of that, just now my school had a feild trip to Pasir Laba Camp. Some educational stuffs about NS Men and stuffs. haha. I dont really pay attention. Malas. haha. Suddenly hujan just now. So we were like trap at this place. everyone was there. There was Northlight Secondary and Ite Bishan and some other Ite's. So random la. Ask numbers. Kental. -___- Bodoh nye bangla. Assholes. I really hate some people who are so mean and irritaing. Mintak kene slap!(:
Well, here are the photos(:
My Ite friends(:
hehehhe. Awesome day(:
How I Love Thee? By: Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Build me up! Buttercup baybehh. Buttercup don't break my heart!.
hahaha.
Say hello to my Darling Dougie Lee Poynter from Mcfly.
Pandai pandai cari la. The guy with the left piercing. Do not try to steel him. Hes mine!. haha. I wanna blog about today but macam malas. Post video better. Yerla, I have some stalkers. hehehe. You kpo ehk. Go away. Shooo! (:
So kisss me!!!!! Ish dont want to kiss you readers. Kiss my duck better. haha(:
All time favourite. haha. I'm like in love again with all the old songs. I know im lame. (:
My friend was like stop with the Fuckface. -____-
haha. -_________________________________________- Bluekk!
okeyy, theres no link to that. -_- teeehee!
okey..well,im kinda pissed. My msn wont work. Troubleshoot. I get really dumb when im using the computer. Im saying this trully. haha. I dont know how to use it well. I know how to spoil it je. haha. I remember my last computer. Kecian. Kene virus. haha. And its all my fault. This computer is going to be my next victim. haha. Saying my last goodbyes to my computer before it dies. haha. Im so random today. ishhhh. Okeyy la. Its like 6 in the morning now. After sahur than online. haha. I wanna bathe and go to school now(: And why am i telling this?
Oh meee goosh. So random.
Firstly, if you see my blog like macam kene cut, than i dont know. I see it okeyy je. I dont know whats the problem. haha. Maybe its your computer or something. i dont know. Okeyy forget it. The reason im changing my link and all its because im running away. Running away from you. Yes you, you asshole. My ass 1 week lover. Wtf. I can talk to you on the phone and text you. But i dont wish to see you face to face. Im gonna slap or kick your dick. Like seriously. You say that you miss me, you say that you wish you could pinch me again. Wth!. You have her. Now you said this to me. This is stupidity. You are so being an ass. I dont know why i fell in love with you in the first place. Wasted. -___- Asshole. If you got to read this. Than its obvious that you know how i feel. I will never accept your apologies. You keep saying that you're sorry, but acually you're not. I think you're glad that you are over with me. And moving on with some other girl. Some other girl you can pinch,laugh,cuddle with. :( Im still upset about this. Im trying my best to stop thinking about you. But like wtf la. Stop calling me!! Stop showing your face on my facebook! Stop making me cry and pleaseeeeeeee stop making me think. like wtf laa!!!!. arghhhhh -_____-
Why guys like to do this to me?
Hurting me fun ehk?
Like im an alien. No feelings.
I only have 3 fingers and im green so you do this to me la.
Asshole.
IM NOT AN ALIEN!! IM A FUCKING HUMAN BEING!
Each one. Do this to me.
I had enough.
Useless.
Secondly, okeyyy..BayBeats was awesome(: Moshed,Hardcore dancing. OMG!. Bruises on my hands and body aches. haha. A good way to release stress. haha. Punched some dudes and dudettes. haha. So funny. But end up, that Sunday made me wonder. Why Why Why???. Nevermind la. Its just a one second thing. It was magical. Thank you so much for making me feel stupid(:
Thirdly, no more working hours for me!. Overrrrrr. Done!. haha. No more sorrows. haha. My time now is to have fun and study. I cant work. Working time for me is when im done studying and lazy to have fun. My mother said..'cha-cha nie terlalu manje, tak boleh kene sikit,kene marah dengan manager abeh nangis.' Well, i am. So yeahh. Im not a mature person. Not yet i guess. Im still living in Kiddy Land. -___-
I know myself well. So yeahh. haha
